The Guardian calls him “quintessentially English”, but that shouldn’t turn you off from John Hegley just yet. He writes very endearing, funny poems about dogs, potatoes and other things that generally make you happy. I first found out about him through The Guardian Unlimited Books podcast, where he read this:
In the embrace of my glasses
I openly accept my vulnerability
And affirm my acceptance of outside help.
As well as providing open acknowledgement
Of the imperfection in my eyesight,
My glasses are a symbolic celebration
Of the wider imperfection
That is the human condition.
In contrast, contact lenses are a hiding of the faults.
They pretend the self-sufficiency of the individual
And minister onto the cult of stultifying normality.
They are that which should be cast out of your vision.
They are a denial of the self.
They are a denial of the other.
They are a betrayal of humanity.
Link time: You can read 22 more poems here, and listen to him perform some more poems here. (As far as I can see none of the poems are duplicated on the two sites.) You can also listen here to the Guardian interview that I mentioned above, in which he also turns a daily news story about the UK education system into a song and sings a poem about two gay bus drivers. That should brighten up your Monday somewhat, I hope!